Take A Breath, Bensalem: No One Is Trying To Put Edibles In Your Kids’ Halloween Candy

As a public service announcement to the people of Bucks County, we’d like to offer the following:

No one is trying to give your kids THC-infused candy (aka “edibles) this Halloween. This bears out for a few reasons:

1. They’re too good to share with children.
2. They’re too expensive to share with children.
3. It’s sociopathic and truly quite dangerous to give them to children, which is again, including #1 and #2, why it just doesnt happen.
4. They’re too good to share with children.

Here’s what people are trying to do with your children these days:

1. They’re trying to teach them, in school, how to be decent people, if the parents will allow them.
2. They’re trying to keep them safe, in school, from guns and disease, if the parents will allow them.

And we, dear reader, are trying to let you know that Action News is idioitic, fearmongering, and every once in a while, actually unintentionally hilarious. That is all.