I’ll never take for granted being married to the person I love. I never thought about whether I wanted to get married growing up. As a gay kid, I just knew that this was not in the cards for me. As I grew into adulthood, the possibility of legal recognition of my relationship came into focus. Marriage became an option for me, and I was thrilled. I was married in New York in my mid twenties, prior to legalization in PA. Unfortunately, my first marriage did not last. A few years later, I was lucky enough to find love again and get married to my husband in Montgomery County, where we both grew up. This was only possible after 2015, when the Obergefell case was decided and marriage equality finally became the law of the land.
Rob and I have been incredibly fortunate to build our quiet simple life together. I think of the joy we find in tackling jigsaw puzzles together. I think of our LGBTQIA+ community and their tireless support of us, and my annual casting submission for next year’s season of Survivor. I think of our mothers, who have become the closest of friends. And I think of the home we built together, including our two dogs that bring us so much joy.
I also think about how our support of one another empowers us each to be the best versions of ourselves as we interact with the local Philadelphia community. I love my job as a Physician Assistant at the Mazzoni Center, Philly’s LGBTQIA+ Healthcare Organization. And I love coming home each day and hearing about my husband’s work at the Pennsylvania Horticultural Society, where he contributes to our city’s beauty and well-being.
But the more I’ve learned about the backwards-looking goals of Project 2025 — the roadmap for a second Trump term in office—the more I realize how fragile our happiness could be. Project 2025 is very clear: It wants to destroy families like mine and put discrimination back in place here in Pennsylvania and across the United States.
So as I think about this election, I think about the threats that loom, and the efforts we still need to make to protect others less fortunate than ourselves. I am beyond grateful for the legal protections and benefits that marriage equality affords my husband and me, especially when I consider the generations before us that were denied these same rights.
When I look at how our relationship enriches our lives as well as those around us, I’m saddened to remember that GLAAD’s 2024 Accelerating Acceptance study found that while acceptance for LGBTQ people remains very high in America, that support appears to have dropped slightly. In 2023, 84% of non-LGBTQ Americans agreed with the statement, “I support equal rights for the LGBTQ community.” In 2024, that number was 80%.
That’s due in large part to the hateful rhetoric of politicians and media figures who are trying to get ahead by telling lies about LGBTQ people—people who are their neighbors, their friends, their coworkers. These lies have consequences. At a time when violent crime is declining overall in America, the GLAAD report notes that the FBI’s hate crime data has shown a 19% rise in hate crimes against LGBTQ folks and a 35% rise in attacks specifically against transgender people.
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Project 2025 spreads the silly, old-fashioned lie that families like mine are not “safe” and lays out plans to remove protections for LGBTQ people in this country. It might be hard to accept that these people are serious about their plans, because it sounds too over the top to be true.
But in the same Supreme Court opinion that overturned Roe v. Wade, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas wrote that he wants the court to “correct the error” it made in the Obergefell decision that gave me and my husband the freedom to marry.
These people are serious about taking America backward to a time when we had more fears and fewer freedoms. But that’s not who we are or what we want.
As we consider our votes this fall, I urge my fellow Pennsylvanians to cast their ballots for candidates who have pledged that they will protect and defend the rights of families like mine and the rights and freedoms of all Americans.
