I grew up thinking that in America anything is possible. Now I’m absolutely convinced of it. Where I went wrong was thinking the path to the possible was through determination, education, and hard work. I thought America was a meritocracy. My mistake.
I’ve since learned that it’s possible for anyone to become Secretary of Defense if you look the part. Being a Fox News host helps, especially when trying to explain allegations of financial mismanagement and incidents of intoxication and sexual impropriety.
A South Dakota woman shoots her dog for being bad at pheasant hunting. Then, deciding she wasn’t done killing, she grabs a misfortunate goat, shoots it, goes back to her truck for another shell and shoots it again. Maybe she was upset at getting caught making false claims about meeting with Kim Jong Un. No matter. The Senate still thought she possessed the temperament to be Secretary of Homeland Security.
Another woman spread Russian propaganda, had a clandestine meeting with Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad, and supported leakers of classified information. She breezed through confirmation as Director of National Intelligence.
Apparently there are no hurdles to becoming Secretary of Health and Human Services. Candidates are free to promote disproven conspiracy theories like: vaccines cause autism, or COVID-19 was ethnically targeted to attack Caucasian and black people while sparing Ashkenazi Jews. Even a lack of basic competency (having public health experience or running a government agency) doesn’t stand in the way of Senate confirmation.
I’ve also discovered anyone can be a Republican U.S. Senator if you’re willing to abandon all conviction and have your spine removed.
Confirmation of a wrestling entertainment executive as Secretary of Education is up next. She has a limited background in education, but she did chair a pro-Trump super PAC. And that’s what really matters in modern-day America.
Republicans have wanted to abolish the Department of Education for a long time. This is a department that promotes student aid for higher education, helps schools that serve low-income families, and supports programs for students with special needs. In short, the Department of Education works to make Americans smarter. No wonder Republicans consider it the Great Satan.
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Still wondering how all this affects you. Let’s try a thought experiment.
Imagine you’re sitting in a chair flanked by a dentist and hygienist who both grew up under a government that promoted the health benefits of Diet Coke simply because the president likes the taste (especially since getting rid of paper straws). It’s ‘diet.’ And that’s good enough for Health and Human Services. You ask why there are no diplomas on the wall. They explain the Department of Education, in cooperation with the president’s Task Force to Eradicate Anti-Christian Bias, proclaimed science to be… well.. anti-Christian. So they pulled funding to coerce removal of science from school curricula. And because the American Dental Association (ADA) expressed concern regarding Trump’s pause on financial assistance, the president labeled them leftist radicals and slashed all federal assistance. Thus forcing the ADA to drastically raise the cost of the exam used for licensure of dentists. States couldn’t help students afford the test. They were too busy trying to cover the budget deficits caused by the loss of Medicare funding. Luckily the Trump administration simplified the process by making it a political appointment. No exams. Just make a campaign contribution and submit a headshot to the president. If he decides you look like a dentist, you become one. The dentist and hygienist glance up at you and smile as they review the latest YouTube video on how to perform a root canal. What could possibly go wrong?
Think this scenario is too ludicrous to happen? Let me refer you back to the confirmation of the inebriated Defense Secretary, the goat killing Secretary of Homeland Security, the propaganda spreading Director of National Intelligence, the anti-vax head of Health and Human Services, and the pro wrestling Secretary of Education.
Anything’s possible in America.
